Creepy Crawlers
July 14, 2017
Week 1
Living in the tropics means altering my lifestyle. I have
become accustomed to the daily sweeping and mopping. The ants arrive overnight,
like over-eager relatives sensing free food during the holidays, while the cock
roaches and moths twitter around the kitchen eagerly searching for dropped
morsels.
In fact, you cannot leave any morsel of food on the counters.
I left an unopened banana bread and pack of crackers on the counter and later
picked them up to find ants swarming inside of the packages.
The ants bite, of course. The first day in my new apartment
an army of tiny ants charged across the living room toward the kitchen and into
the outdoor(ish) laundry room carrying little white maggots. Disgusting. I
promptly cleaned them up and mopped.
Week 2
A week later I was awoken at 3 am from a tickling inside my
ear. A bug had crawled in my ear. I freaked. I sprang from my bed to the
bathroom where I pulled on my ear and hopped on one leg (like you do when you
have water in your ear) to try to knock the bug out. I texted my Colombian friend
Daniela, who for some ungodly reason happened to be awake, and she told me that
she recently had had a spider crawl in her ear during the night…. NOOOOO. I,
while trying to remain calm, frantically googled what to do when a bug crawls
in your ear. If this ever happens to you, there are surprisingly a lot of solutions
online. Oil > water, so I went to the kitchen and grabbed my bottle of olive
oil. In true Italian fashion, I dumped two tablespoons of oil down my left ear.
I then tried to sleep with my ear downward as to force the bug out. I didn’t
sleep a wink.
The next day, I decided to make a trip to the emergency room.
I was leaving for the field and if I had a bug in my ear, I wanted that sucker
out. After some confusing navigation of a Colombian emergency room (including
putting a 200,000 Colombian Peso – COP – deposit down on my buggy ear), I saw a
very nice doctor who looked in my ear, told me there was nothing inside anymore
and prescribed me some ear drops for the irritation (so the bug entered and
left). It was a Sunday, so the drugstores were closed, and naturally I have not
filled my prescription (I filled it two weeks later and only half completed the
required treatment…oops).
A few days later, after a long sugar-filled day, I was back
at my apartment with my favorite mustachioed cat. Feeling nauseated from my
disgusting consumption of sugar (which is normal in Colombia), it was nice to
have my furry friend join me for a cuddle session. She meow-ed, me-owed,
seriously mewed(?), licked my nose with her sandpaper tongue, and curled up
next to me on my bed. On my bed, when I noticed two white rice looking
things on her butt. Yup, you guessed it – worms. The cat has F****ing worms. This
did not help with my nausea. I checked my bed for worms – didn’t find any, but
found a closely resembled piece of fuzz that caused me to have a prolonged
pause prior to sweeping it off my bed. Gag, gag, gag.
Disgusted with the cat, I reminisced to earlier in the
evening, where I remembered that I had pet a dog covered in dried blood and
then proceeded to eat without washing my hands.
Pictured below are some of my roomies
Worm Butt, also known as Sherriff Callie (the 4-year old named her)
|
The neediest cat you will ever meet |
One of my other roomies - Macey |
The city of Santa Marta at dusk as seen from my shitty i-phone 4 - soccer practice, swimming, street performances, and street food. |
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